I’m in a Funk… And That’s Okay

Well to say it’s been a while is quiiiiiiite the understatement …. Hey y’all I’m back for right now, feeling a little inspired/needing to get out some thoughts that I haven’t aired out to much of anyone

Image result for hiiiiii gif

So the last time I posted was a long time ago, and in that time:

  • I went through a break up with someone who was with me throughout the Hurricane drama
  • Told myself “Men ain’t shit” and made myself happy when I got back from London/England/Preston
  • Got back to Sint Maarten
  • Met someone new and fell deeply in love, VERY deeply
  • Got a doggie named Charlie, who is the absolute love of my life
  • Had a very close friend passed away in an accident that was completely unfair (more on that later)
  • Went through a period of time where I was harassed by another person at my school
  • Started going to therapy to help cope with many things in my life
  • Went to Canada for the first time
  • Spent time with friends on a lake and had a blast
  • Became part of an E-board of a committee that means a lot to me as a person
  • Had friends and my family visit me in Sint Maarten (AYYYY CHARLITTTT)
  • Went through quite possibly the hardest break up of my life during finals week… (yup you read that right)
  • Went back to San Francisco to see a dear friend
  • Started to attempt to put my life back together
  • Making a few bad choices here and there… per usual
  • Traveled to Barbados to see some medical school friends
  • Went to St. Barth’s — HOLY SANTA CLAUS SHIT IT WAS SO NICE 10/10 RECOMMEND
  • Had all my closest friends leave Sint Maarten while I finish up my last class
  • Booked my flight home to L.A. for good from Sint Maarten

Needless to say, A BIIIIITCH HAS BEEN GOIN THROUGH IT!

Image result for oh dear gif

One of the biggest things that I think that I have been struggling with is my sense of self and if I am good enough. This stems from many things, mainly my most recent break up. Granted, I thank the person for what was said at the end of the day because I got a chance to sit back and say, “Hey I am not that person that you described. I need to take a step back and see how I got here and where I go from here to change that.” When you open up to someone in the way that I did and show what your true wants and hopes are and have them spit on that and say “You’re not worthy of that”, “I don’t think you’re the one and I don’t think you’d be a good ‘x”… I think we all get a little lost in that. Comprehension of the person I loved at the time, so wholly and so fully, saying those things to me was earth-shattering, painful, and made me more insecure than I ever have been in my adult life. I don’t think I have ever spent more time doubting who I am, what kind of person I am to other people, and how others perceive me… Ask my best friend Lucy, I spent way too much time asking “Am I good friend? Am I worthy of this? Am I ever going to find someone who will be better?”  What is troubling is that this person made me believe that a good person and friend does not live in me. And ask some of my closest friends, that’s never who I have been as a friend to them, and I don’t ever plan to be someone of that caliber.

With all that said, that person is no longer in my life for a simple reason, to teach me some sort of lesson. And you know what, heard it loud and clear and I think I’m still learning it. **Disclaimer: I have no animosity or hatred to my ex, I wish them the best and good luck in the future. They are a good person and showed me how to be a better person to everyone**

Since then, I’ve definitely been struggling, or in a funk if you will. *Dj: ITS TIME TO GET FUNKAYYYYYY* Well not that kinda funky…. I am usually a very decisive person. Very much of the “I hate this; I love this trend; I won’t wear that color cause I look atrocious” for an example or two. Buttttttttt in the past 6 months, I have change into a very indecisive, over-thinker with some very apparent insecurities.. Hey, hi, welcome to the brain of a Virgo!

Having one of my closest friends leave me is also really messing with me. We can literally say the most mundane internet references, turn that into some other applied meaning, and crack up laughing at it for HOURS. WE ARE THOSE ANNOYING AF CHICKS. ***~Sorry but that’s just who I am ALWAYS~*** It’s definitely taken me a bit to realize how close of friends we are and how much I value her friendship. The irony of all of this is that we weren’t exactly the beeeestttt of friends when we met. I thought she was too annoying and too nice and too much ‘one of the dudes’ but turns out she is one of the absolute most pure and amazing people I have ever been blessed to be friends with. Lucy, I truly value you and love you endlessly… almost like you and Galdy… and then some, but like your bf is great so I’ll just be here making no noise and pretending I don’t exist (If you — the reader of this — don’t get that reference then idk what to say….)

To top it all off, I feel like everyone around me has someone, and now that I’m on that ~*sInGle GiRl $wAg~* I have jack shit. I was just scrolling through instagram (the crux of all internal struggle evil if you ask me) and saw a 22 year-old getting engaged, my natural reflex was, “That is so amazing, but how am I 27 years old, in my second year of medical school and STILL single?” I will say that is 100% a selfish though. I know that. But its this horrible thing that I think most women think in their 20’s — we need to have someone and if we don’t its a MOFUGGIN CRISIS! Well, I’m slowly realizing that I live in a very secluded island, which is not a part of true reality, and if I were in the states my situation would be different or the same. I have to remind myself that this is such a transitional part of my life, and so will the next 5-10 years and I need to be flexible, nice to myself, and put less pressure on myself. Do you have any friend who are Virgos? That’s literally our #1 job for ourselves: Add as MUCH pressure to be better as possible. Cluster that with the most recent events and feelings…. DANGER: ENTER IF YOU DARE!

Needless to say, I’m okay to admit this: I am a bit of a mess/in a funk/ unsure of anything in the current moment in regards to my life…. And that’s not likely to change until after I leave my little island home and re-establish myself in the U.S. and get to see me parents and sister, and close family and friends, and family dog, and Target, and normal grocery stores, and the mall, and just everything I know to be my normal. Maybe those things won’t change it, but I think I have a lot of good and hurtful memories attached to this island and I need a little bit of home to help me out.

Thank you if you made it this far. I appreciate you. I appreciate your patience with me. I am working on it and I just need to focus on my school work and getting to the end goal of becoming a great physician.

Remember: please be kind. We’re all going through private battles

Image result for be kind

Why You Need to Give Back (in Some Way) While You’re in Medical School

Hey guys/gals/whoever you are!

I know it’s been a MIN-UTE… or like 5 months… since I last posted, but hey I’m back and I’m trying to generate meaningful content for this lil blog of mine! So I’m just going to jump right into it and describe my experience of giving back and why It is so g*ddamn important as a medical student. (Also, take a sec to follow my instagram as I tend to post things there too! @theunconventionalmd !!)

So as you’re along your journey in medical school, have you decided that you’re going to be the next Christina Yang? Or is Derek Sheppard that you aspire to be? I know, that’s a corny ass reference but I promise it will be pertinent to my spiel! But seriously, have you thought long and hard about what type of physician you aspire to be or are you saying, “maybe I’ll wait until rotations start to figure all that out”? First off, there is absolutely positively NO PROBLEM with either of those options! Second, have you looked around your campus and seen what potential clubs are available to help guide those questions/choices? If you answered no to that, boy you have some EXPLAINING to do!

 

 

Here at AUC SOM, there are SO MANY FRIGGIN CLUBS! I say that with the utmost enthusiasm and support because I belong to a few myself! I personally fell in love with Pediatrics when I was in high school being a nanny as well as when I was an outpatient medical scribe for about 2 years. In that same time as a scribe I fell in L-O-V-E with Orthopedic Surgery, 1) because it’s cool AF, 2) TOOLS AND BREAKING BONES, but 3) because the physicians which I was working with held a very close relationship with their patients and the parents of the patients. Therefore, coming into Medical School I had the general idea that I wanted to be in Pediatric Surgery 1 KABILLION TRILLION percent—which I have come to digress from absolute certainty to, “Maybeeee if I get the best Step 1 score I need and become an active member in all these clubs/interest groups, get SUPER awesome letters of recommendation from my rotations, THEN I will apply to residency in Peds Surg.” Again, this is just my thought on my personal journey into residency as a foreign medical student or IMG (International medical Graduate) as we are classified by the AAMC and National Board of Medical Examiners. Being an IMG has a stigma, but FYI when it comes to Step 1 USMLE scores a 250 is a 250 no matter WHO scored it!

Anyways back to our regularly scheduled programming… as I mentioned, there are many clubs and interest groups at my personal medical school and I thoroughly recommend seeking some of your own personal interest while you are on your medial school journey or are looking to being your medical journey!

One of the clubs/interest groups I joined is called “PIG”, yes like the short, stubby, & pink ‘oink oink’ animal! PIG stands for ‘Pediatric Interest Group’ and this group on campus is devoted to the development and understanding of the role of the Pediatrician in the medical world as well as focusing on pediatric-focused community service and clinically applicable learning activities.

10947296_10100959400340835_5176956734886633411_n

Throughout the semester, the group throws many meetings with fellow Pediatricians either in person or via skype on important pediatric issues/health concerns. In an early meeting in the semester, one of the school’s newest Deans, Dr. Colin Mitchie, MD, gave a lecture on his experience working with sickle cell patients as well as basic health policy differences between the United States and the United Kingdom and how that affects the well-being of children. This week, we have another lecture discussing vaccination of children, which by and large is a GIANT area of debate among parents and the medical community. Along with these meetings, we have events throughout the semester for the children of students and faculty on the island as well as the for the children of the Sint Maarten community as well. Over the Easter weekend, the group put on an Easter Egg Hunt for the children and it was a hip-hoppin time! (Honestly I had to shoot my shot on that joke… although it was bad, it’s still funny right?.. No? Okay I will see myself out now….)

The event in which I participated in this past weekend was PIG Day, with the Player Development organization here on Sint Maarten. The aim of this event is to provide help with the local Player Development Organization & the community children of Sint Maarten via reading, tutoring, helping with Coach Tom’s items around the program site, teaching coin collecting, aiding with reading and writing, and teaching the children how to play baseball (among many other activities)! This event, truly and deeply, made me so grateful that I get to participate in giving back to the Sint Maarten community following Hurricane Irma and in my short time on this island for my basic science years. The day began for me by being bused over to Philipsburg with about 20 other members of the group, and upon arrival being greeted by two very friendly island dergs (dogs for the non-animal educated peeps)! After meeting Coach Tom, he gave us a quick rundown of the program, why it exists in Sint Maarten, and who we were helping within the community through the continuity of the program. This story was truthfully heartbreaking, and to maintain privacy of those people involved, I will not detail that story; but what I will say is this, as medical students, we are FORTUNATE AF to be able to live our lives and we should be giving back to the outreaching communities as often as we can because truth is THEY NEED US and appreciate us more than we will ever know.

Sooooooo, my role in this event was to help with the writing of Thank You Notes to the students whom were helping out with Coach Tom and the kids within the program.  I spent about an hour with a few different children in the program, chatting, asking them about their lives in Sint Maarten, what grade they were in, their favorite class in school, their siblings, etc. It was very interesting to see that these children were so happy and so open with the students helping them in this program they attended. It honestly warmed my heart to see so many of my classmates painting a shipping container, building picnic tables, painting book shelves, reading with the children, and teaching baseball. Looking around the facility, I felt a sense of true bliss and happiness that we were contributing to making so many children of Sint Maarten’s day better by giving them some of our time and help. This experience reinforced to me that I need to be in Pediatrics, however form of the specialty that I can be.

IMG_3693

A thank you letter written by a child in the Player Development Program (OWWW my heart hurts it’s so sweet)

Now to why I think as a Medical Student you should be giving back—basically it boils down to this lil nugget of wisdom (I’m not wise, but I’ll sure as h*ll try to be): Giving back for two hours on a Saturday or whatever day it is will fulfill you faaaaar more than those few hours of studying you think you missed out on. Give back often and to all who need it, because Karma sees it and we all need all the good Karma we can get, amiright?! Go sign up for those events for the community, give a couple hours out of your weekend, and HELP OTHER PEOPLE OUT! It is so important that we as soon-to-be physicians see what community outreach does for patients and their families, as opposed to just saying “There’s X service available to you for help, blah blah blah”. Because that’s really all the patient hears if you yourself have never taken the time to give your time and help people like them in their situation, BLAH BLAH I DON’T CARE BLAH. Bottom Line: Giving your time is more rewarding, and you’ll thank yourself later when you do give it to people without expecting an ounce of anything in return.

Don’t be the careless physician, get your hands dirty, get to know the community, and understand your recommendations and advice!

 

IMG_3694

AUC PIG at Player Development Program in Philipsburg, Sint Maarten on April 7, 2018.

MDF Instruments, THANK YOU! —- The Displaced Students of AUC SOM

If you’re new to my blog, Hi! I’m Lauren, a first year medical student who was displaced by Hurricane Irma from Sint Maarten to the U.K. during the fall of this past year. During the hurricane, a lot of things were lost, destroyed, and have not likely been found since that fateful day in September. As part of the evacuation from the island, myself and 700 other individuals were evacuated from the island with only what we could fit in a backpack…and needless to say not much of what we wanted made the cut (I miss you Sephora make up brushes, Sonicare electric toothbrush, and mama will see you soon)… But amongst the things that we were forced to leave, our original White Coats as well as all of our medical supplies we had acquired for the beginning of first year had to be left in suitcases in Sint Maarten. We are due to be reunited in January, but we were definitely disappointed to be separated from our stethoscopes as they are the “you’re actually a med student” gift/supply that we all have the pleasure of buying or receiving as a gift prior to beginning the dumpster fire that is medical school…. And I mean like raging, dumpster fire… Obviously I’m kidding but I feel need like 4 years of sleep and then a nap to feel close to normal again.

greys gif

Fast forward to beginning medical school in the U.K. about 1 month later in early October, we have begun our classes as well as had our first round of midterms. We may have just barely survived, but here we are twenty-something, tired, and semi-thriving. But the sad thing is that there are still no signs of our medical equipment getting to us to help us prepare during our Introduction to Clinical Medicine classes and workshops.

Well, all of that changed today with the help of the amazing team at MDF Medical Instruments! Today, all of the students who were moved to the UK without their medical equipment—aka most of the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th semester students—were fitted with brand new equipment that all semester students were in need of! As first semester students, we personally received:

  • cardiology stethoscopes
  • oto/ophthalmoscopes
  • pen lights
  • sphygmomanometers

and I speak for all of us when I say I AM BEYOND ELATED AND FEEL SO THANKFUL!!

MDFInstruments

These are the GENEROUS gifts that @MDFInstruments gifted to the first semester students of AUC SOM while in the UK.

From the bottom of our hearts, MDF Instruments, you are such a generous and amazing company to have gifted all of these instruments to our student body in order to aid with continuation of our medical education! We came out of the hurricane humbled and grateful to be alive and able to tell our story. Receiving such critical equipment is such a blessing and for that we can never repay you… but also I have like a lot of student loan debt too so I’ll write you an I.O.U. for now…. Overall, we could never asked for anyone to take on supplying us all with new supplies, but as a company you have outdone yourselves, and we are so freaking thankful. IT’S A THANKSGIVING MIRACLE I TELL YA!

If you’re in the medical field, or an aspiring medical student, head on over to their pages on social media as well as their website and give them the love they deserve!

 

MDF Instruments:

Instagram- @mdfinstruments

Facebook- “MDF Instruments”

Website-  MDF Instruments website

 

Why Professionalism in Medical School Matters… A LOT

Preston, Lancashire, UK                                                                                October 26, 2017

katyperry

Within the past few months, my life—as well as my classmates’—have been in sort of a state of all around…. what’s the word? Oh yes, fuckery. Just. Fuck-er-y…. Meaning that we have literally been uprooted by a storm, moved back to the US, then to the UK, and now in January 2018 back to the Caribbean island which homes our medical school—American University of the Caribbean School of Medicine. But something that I have noticed is that, professionalism matters in every platform no matter what you’re doing. Professionalism is something that unfortunately is not engrained in everyone’s minds or personalities prior to beginning their medical education. And for lack of a better expression, this is a damn shame. You know why? Because at a certain point, you will need to exercise the “who you know” part of networking to help with residencies and fellowships to which you are applying. So making yourself well known as a professional, as well as looking poised and very Miss United States-eque on your applications, is critical to getting those interviews. I know, I know that is like 3-4 years down the road for me but that preparation should really start now right? RIGHT.

I have watched as some of my classmates as they have received what they thought was devastating news (save the drama for your mama plz) and subsequently, and quite literally, lost their shit on the internet, to professors, and as I personally have experienced it, on other classmates. This is ludicrous behavior for a physician-in-training. And I mean LUDICROUS (*cue ‘When I Move You Move’…. Smell what I’m stepping in?). Physicians have to be forever flexible and adapt to changes in policy, law, and even the surroundings of their clinics or hospitals. It is their job as a physician to address and to adapt to changes as they occur and still treat patients without an air of ‘there’s some shit going on right now that’s pissing me off’ within their care plans. If a patient comes into a clinic for one problem and addresses another during their office visit, does the physician crawl onto the floor, cry, and bang their fists in protest? …..Nope…. Then why do you, as a medical student, think that its acceptable to essentially do just that? News flash, it’s not. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER CAROL.

carol

Professionalism is also a quality that transcends the personal interactions. It thoroughly extends through all social media, because hey, we live in the era where posting everything to Facebook/Instagram/snapchat feels mandatory, or the “it didn’t happen” fear sets in. Being professional also means that your social media interactions are civil and are less emotion filled than a 7th grade girl who found out her boyfriend is breaking up with her next period. You have to get a freaking grip. You need to think before you post. Would you want your residency interviewer finding an angry tweet from 2012 where your slandering someone using foul language? Or how about that Instagram from spring break in Cabo where you’re chugging tequila from the bottle? Probably not….. So its time to clean house and recenter those posts!!

In a recent article published by CNN online, Harvard University (yes, THE Harvard— what like its hard?) rescinded offers to 10 incoming first year students over memes that were posted in an online Facebook chat…. MEMES. Not even directed social media interactions. You read that right; those funny picture with usually sarcastic banter or jokes on them. The memes which caused the university to revoke the offers were very offensive, including the topics of sexual misconduct, the Holocaust, and racism. Granted not all memes or social interactions fall under this umbrella, but this is a PRIME example of how professionalism is not only within the classroom but on the internet as well. I will link this article at the end of this post.

This CNN article also brings another issue to light which is hand-in-hand with professionalism, just because you are admitted to a medical school DOES NOT MEAN YOU GET TO STAY. You have to work for it. You are not entitled to this education; the school is a resource for your education and you have to work your ass off to stay admitted. That being said, and acceptance is not a hall pass for shitty behavior online or with your classmates or professors or deans. While you earned the title of “medical student”, you need to exemplify the ideals of the school’s qualities of a medical student and not some jagaloon with an attitude problem.

The fact that this is not second nature to those entering and being accepted into medical school is disappointing. We as physicians-in-training need to be as flexible, prepared, adaptable, and most of all PROFESSIONAL as we can, as early as we can in order to become the best and well-suited physicians when the time comes for us to take off the training wheels. We are blessed with a short white coat for 4 years, we shouldn’t ruin the way the long white coat fits before we even see it.

As a side bar, I am not saying that I have never been unprofessional in my life because that would be a complete lie. I am merely saying that as medical students and physicians-in-training it is absolutely critical to adjust behaviors and renew how you approach certain issues in order to avoid the question of if you’re a strong enough professional to work with, from other persons within your field.

Professionalism impacts how your patients will see you as a physician, decision maker, and as a human being. It also impacts who will and who won’t offer you employment in the future…. so be wary of what you think is “professional”. Don’t ruin it with an angry tweet or a rant on Facebook; you have worked so hard to get to your current place. In summation: don’t be impulsive, channel your emotions into constructive statements, and be a respectable adult. That’s what professionalism means to me.

Here’s the link to the CNN article:

http://edition.cnn.com/2017/06/05/us/harvard-memes/index.html

****Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram @theunconventionalmd and let me know on my last picture where you’re reading from!****

 

Why My First Day of Medical School Didn’t Exactly Go According to Plan

** Disclaimer: grab a drink of choice and buckle up, cause this is a long one***

After a month of travelling and spending time with my closest friends and family in the greater Los Angeles and Orange County areas, it was my time to begin my journey to the Caribbean island of Sint Maarten (Saint Martin). Between days of shuffling all my belongings around my parents’ home and in and out of two oversized suitcases and a single duffel bag I found myself packed and ready to head to LAX (with a dream and a cardigan… see what I did there?) Due to a lack of direct flights that weren’t the cost of a pure-bred puppy I was forced to layover in Atlanta for one night before completing the trek to Sint Maarten. Along with my lifetime of unfortunate travel luck, my flight was delayed and I was only able to get 4 hours of sleep before having to board my final flight down into the islands. Even though I was slightly ragged—which is putting how I looked and felt SO MILDLY—I was giddy to end my expedition to Sint Maarten and to open a brand-new chapter of medical school.

I picked a window seat for the flight so I could capture images of the famous beach over which planes enter the island on the Dutch side; boyyyyy was that a good choice! Albeit slightly terrifying flying over water until we were essentially almost landing on the beach, it was absolutely exhilarating knowing that I was flying into one of the most beautiful airports in the world.

Once I landed in the beautiful island nation of Sint Maarten, I was immediately offloaded onto the tarmac at the airport and to say it was stunning is even an injustice in that it was beyond beautiful. After carrying the duffel which I packed to the brim with things my checked luggage couldn’t handle (aka my laptop stand, a few changes of clothes, and gross anatomy textbooks), I checked myself through customs, got an entry stamp in my passport, and was off to school with the aid of the Orientation Advisors divvied out by the school.

Myself along with other students and their parents were caravanned to the school with the mass amounts of luggage in tow—apparently, I was traveling LIGHT with only 2 large bags and a duffel bag—which was about 5-10 minutes via a road which was intended to be two lanes, but in reality was no wider than a one-way street. The drive took us through the town, past two casinos, restaurants, hotels, apartments, etc. and I was purely in awe that I would be living in this beautiful place to begin my saga through medicine. We arrived at the dorms and were immediately greeted by all the friendly students helping us n00bz (1st semester students) move into the dorm apartments. The apartments were decent sized, had plenty of closet space, and the oh so enviable and luxurious Twin XL bed—for all its worth, I could have had a queen bed in that room and still had space for a small spin class so that bed was a little disappointing.

The first few days in Sint Maarten I spent going to the grocery store, hitting up the beach with other students, exploring the local bar scene, getting my room set up, unpacking, and also avoiding completely unpacking. I am so glad that I was too damn lazy to get myself some hangers because I would have wasted so much money just to be forced to leave them on the island (major foreshadowing here)….

During this whole extravaganza of moving and getting settled into my apartment, there were many warnings of Hurricane Irma, which would eventually demolish the university and surrounding areas. All of my friends and I were discussing if we would leave the island, why we shouldn’t, if we could afford it, etc. in regards to the hurricane which was at that time tracked to graze by us. I, being the California gal that I am, said I wasn’t worried about it and that the buildings looked safe enough (BIG FUCKING LOL to my lack of awareness and absolute disregard for the powerful and vengeful Mother Nature). Irma was ready to show me how naïve I was.

By Monday, Irma had gone from a Category 2 (I think, these details are fuzzy) to a Category 5 storm and was gaining strength by the hour. Within 24 hours, I had moved all of my belongings out of my apartment, into my suitcases, and was sharing a blow up mattress in our largest lecture hall with another student — shout out to Brandon Byers, thanks a bunch for sharing!– in preparation for Irma to make landfall on Sint Maarten. At this point, the school’s executive team was updating us hourly with developments over the storm, potential evacuation, and what we should expect from the storm while staying the in Auditorium. ***Side bar: the Auditorium was the only building on the campus which was built to survive a Category 5 hurricane, hence why we packed almost all of the students, families, and faculty within this building. The building had only minor water damage to one entrance so THANK YOU AUC FOR A SAFE HAVEN*** Once we reached Tuesday evening, the anxiety and panic was palpable within the room as all of us waited patiently for Irma to begin her wrath over our new Caribbean home.

I went to bed about 12 am Wednesday morning that Irma made landfall (September 6, 2017) and woke up at 3:45 am to a FaceTime call. I went out into the hallway and was FaceTiming for about 20 minutes when I began to actually hear the storm and all of its wrath, and I fucking mean WRATH. I made the grave mistake of looking out the glass doors while the storm was raging; trees were horizontal, the rain was SIDEWAYS, and it sounded as if you put your ear up to a blender which was then broadcasted through a loud speaker. The power of the storm was immeasurable at this point. While on FaceTime, I distinctly remember saying, “I wasn’t scared before, but I can’t bring myself to look out the windows again I am just so terrified”. If anyone took my blood pressure during that call, they probably would have had to sedate me to get it within normal rage. The storm had started about an hour before I got up and we still had 5 hours until the eye was supposed to cross over us…. Needless to say, September 6, 2017 may have been one of the longest days of my life. Once I had stopped Facetiming, about 4:10 am, I decided that the only way to get through this was to try and sleep through what I could. I wound up sleeping until about 6:40 am when the auditorium was a loud roar of stirring people, anxious students, and others who were just too upset to sleep any longer. This is about the time that the students discovered we had no internet, and therefore no further communications were transmissible. I found out later that day that during the initial hit of the storm one of the doors of the auditorium had been ripped open by the storm and some of our bravest and most valiant security guards risked their safety to close it for the students; to those men, I am forever grateful for your selflessness. Thank you, times a kabillion fafillion. Once the eye had settled over the school, mild chaos erupted (if you can believe that at all, just a natural disaster but hey… it was only MILD chaos!) A woman who was having issues breathing was brought in for medical attention, students who staying in the dorms ran for their lives for the building’s safety, and other civilians seeking shelter or help were welcomed into the building.

Although the storm had calmed, we knew that we were on borrowed time and it was quickly running out. The eye of the storm lasted about 75 minutes, then the winds and rain began again but now running in the opposite direction. Thankfully this leg of the hurricane lasted about 2 hours and we weren’t forced the endure another 5 hour episode of Mother Nature’s most destructive storm. Once the storm had finished its destruction and mayhem over the area,  school officials made the decision to ensure that none of the students, families, or staff were allowed to leave the building until it was deemed safe for use to exit the premises and survey the surrounding areas. They explained to us that they would be selecting individuals to participate on a “Search and Rescue Team”, which would go out into the surrounding buildings, apartment complexes, and any other buildings in search for any students, locals, or other civilians who needed shelter or medical attention and had not already made it back to the campus building.

The wait to go outside was unbearable, yet it felt like opening a Christmas present early when we were finally able to breath in the outside air and enter the shock-and-awe phase of the post-Irma shit storm that had just occurred. When I say shit storm, I fucking mean STORM OF SHIT. EVERYWHERE. As I walked outside the building for the first time since I had furiously packed up my student apartment on Monday (its now Wednesday afternoon around 2 or 3 pm), I was in disbelief of what exactly the storm had managed to destroy. There were palm trees essentially ripped in half, or out of the ground entirely, debris everywhere, every car had windows blown out along with body damage, cars were blown over, blown into each other, railings were ripped off the student apartments, drywall was missing from the roofs of buildings, windows were blown out, and entire levels of apartments were missing. The sheer damage was unfathomable, and all that I just listed isn’t even close to everything that I saw. It was too much to even be upset about; as well, I didn’t have a right to be upset because this wasn’t yet my home, let alone somewhere that I had all of my belongings damaged or obliterated as many of the locals and even school officials did.

In the days following the storm, there were strings of meetings regarding water usage—the phrase “if its yellow let it mellow if its brown flush it down” was uttered more times than I think I have heard ever in my 26 years– evacuation, a school semester, and contacting families and loved ones. Finally on Friday, which I only remember because this is the day I finally showered after the storm hit, we were notified that it was possible that the evacuation was beginning and to be ready at any minute to leave. At about 1 p.m. Friday afternoon, September 8th, I got word that if we wanted to evacuate there were military planes flying in that afternoon and there was a possibility a large number of the students/families could be evacuated. I don’t think I have ever run faster in my life back into a building to get my belongings; we were allotted one backpack and THAT’S IT. Anything we could fit in there plus our passports, that’s all. No suitcases, no extras, nada. So I tore through my three suitcases grabbing some basics that could maybe get me through a few days and sprinted back out into line with my friend Alex and her parents, whom were on the medical team during the storm. Finally I got up to the front, on the edge of tears and exhaustion, gave the student government representative my name and passport number and I was in line to get into one of the cars that was driving back and forth from the airport. I used my friend’s mother’s phone and called my dad; the poor guy was so exasperated due to the sheer number of random phone numbers he was receiving calls from (I only had Wi-Fi on the island due to not wanting to change carriers blah blah blah, BIG MISTAKE). He was ecstatic to hear that we were leaving but upset that I had no details except for, and I quote, “Maybe Puerto Rico Dad, I have no idea”… Dad if you’re reading this, I love you and your patience with me in this every changing and tumultuous time! You’re the best!

As I lined up into a group of 4 with Alex and her parents, we got into a Hyundai which had the back glass punched out by the storm and a severely cracked windshield off down the one lane road toward the airport. We were narrowly avoiding debris at every turn, and often had to pull off to allow other vehicles to pass us in order to head back to the campus. As we approached the airport, we saw how the destruction had affected one of the most beautiful airports in the world along with its surrounding communities. I wish there was another word for devastating that truly captured the amount of damage and air of hopelessness with all the damage. As we pulled up to the airport, we scrambled out of the car, thanked the kind man who siphoned fuel from his boat to fill his car to do this, and essentially jogged up to the Dutch military men whom were guarding the airport entrance. I showed two guards my passport, got the okay to move through, and there I was… on the tarmac at Princess Julianna Airport in Sint Maarten where I had arrived no less than one week prior to start medical school, and was greeted by 100 other students and a military C 130 plane with engines going. In that moment, I thought, I am so fucking thankful for my life and that as a U.S. Citizen I was able to be evacuated from Sint Maarten.

We piled into a military C 130 plane with about 119 students and family members, into a plane that usually holds about 80 people, heading for Puerto Rico. As soon as the gate closed the back of the plane, applause and cheering erupted, because the nightmare that we endured was about to be left behind us, at least physically. Thank you to the New York Rescue Crew that came to Sint Maarten to help evacuate us, you’re all heroes and we will never be able to thank you enough for keeping us safe during our exit from the destruction. #NYRescue

The flight to Puerto Rico was about 40 minutes and we landed without a hitch on the runway and were seamlessly offloaded into customs. At customs, the Red Cross greeted us with food, water, clothes, and basics like tooth paste to get us through the nights we may have been there. I think I ate 3 slices of pizza, a double hamburger, and 18 pounds of French fries in a time span of 20 minutes.. unsure of the details because it 100% possible I blacked out due to happiness and carb overload… but I digress.

We were moved via shuttle to a local Hilton in Puerto Rico about 20 minutes from the airport; however our shuttle driver got us there in about 10 to have us beat the traffic (slightly terrifying but got us ahead of a 150 person line to get into a room so hey I can’t complain). Ultimately we wound up staying in Puerto Rico from Friday night to Monday afternoon as there were scheduled flights with pre planned itineraries of which students would be on which flights. I was on one of the last flights out of Puerto Rico, but again, so damn thankful that Adtelem—the company which owns the school– and the AUC team had evacuate us in the first place and were getting us back to the states and out of reach of any other natural disasters.

From Puerto Rico we were flown to Chicago, via chartered planes. If there was ever a time to kiss American soil, this was it, and I SURE AS HELL PUCKERED UP BECAUSE HALLELUJAH I WAS BACK IN THE STATES! Once I landed, I called my family explained I’d be in Chicago for an undefined amount of time and that I would call them with any updates. After we were off the plane, we were greeted by the American Red Cross, given blankets, food, clothes, another round of basic essentials, and were sent to hotels to get a good nights sleep and another shower. There were a LOT of ripe-ass humans on that flight from Puerto Rico and we all could have used a deep soak… for at least a week or so. Okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic, but like, we survived a Category 5 ++ hurricane so we get to do that right?!

At this point in this “story”, if I can even call it that, I would wholeheartedly like to say a giant thank you to Adtelem and all of the officials of American University of the Caribbean School of Medicine. Without all your hard work, sleepless nights, and tireless efforts, I would not be safe and I would not have felt safe during that storm. You all have saved so many lives and for that we as the student body, are indebted to you—beside the fact that like we all have giant mounds of debt for medical school, but that’s besides the point.

Hurricane Irma, you were truly a bitch of epic proportions, but the one thing that you gave me was a strong sense of self, an understanding of how trauma affects myself and others, knowing I am in the right place with the right family, stronger and closer friendships, and that I am #AUCStrong.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

All rights reserved. Pictures are personal property of Lauren Stantley and may not be used without written consent.